I was listening to Brené Brown on The Interview, the New York Times podcast, when she spoke about the difference between power over and power within.
- Power over relies on control and fear.
- Power within rises from self-worth and clarity, the kind of strength that inspires people to grow with you.
This language has deep roots. Management thinker Mary Parker Follett wrote back in the 1930s:
“Genuine power is not coercive; it is co-active. It is not power over, but power with.”
And feminist scholar Jo Rowlands later added:
“Power from within is the sense of self-worth and self-knowledge that allows people to recognize their capacity and to envision and create change.”
Brené has carried this into her work on leadership, reminding us:
“Power over is driven by fear. Daring leaders share power with, empower people to, and inspire people to develop power within.”
My own leadership lesson
When I first started out as a founder, I leaned heavily on power over. As a Driver (D) on the DISC assessment, I’m wired to move quickly and check things off the list. Add to that my own streak of perfectionism, and I often pushed too hard, micromanaged, and demanded flawless execution.
I see now that this was me leading from fear, not trust—fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear that if I didn’t control every detail, everything would fall apart.
Over the years, through a lot of leadership work, I’ve learned that power over might bring short-term results, but it doesn’t build trust or creativity. When I shift into power within—trusting my values, my worth, and my team—I don’t need to be perfect or controlling. Instead, I get to create an environment where people feel safe to lead alongside me.
Brené Brown’s new book
That’s why I’m so looking forward to Brené’s new release, Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit, arriving September 23, 2025. She explores how to stay rooted when life feels uncertain, and how holding paradox—two truths at once—can actually make us wiser leaders.
A Practice for Entrepreneurs
Here’s something simple you can try this week:
1. Spot the reflex. Think of a moment when you pushed for control or perfection. Write it down.
2. Name the fear. What were you afraid might happen—missing a deadline, disappointing a client, losing momentum?
3. Identify your value. Write down one principle—trust, courage, creativity, integrity—that matters most to you as a leader.
4. Reimagine the response. How would you handle that moment differently if you led from power within?
5. Act from strength. Choose one small step this week to put that reframe into action.
If you’d like to explore how to grow your business while staying grounded in your power within, I’d love to connect. You can set up a discovery call with me here: calendly.com/Kalika
Wishing you all the very best always,
Kalika
